Blessing in Oppression
Disclosure: This post is not to demean or speak negatively towards the people in it; nor is it to uproot negativity. There is a lesson behind the story. Please read with a positive mindset.
I remember when I was a teenager, I met this one "friend" who I was so fond of. I met her the summer before school started, when I first moved to South Carolina from New York. I was so ecstatic that she wanted to be my friend. She was a few years ahead of me, smart, and pretty and I admired her. I was starting a new school, moving in with a new family in a new town, and was completely scared. I experienced culture shock, and an environment that was completely different than what I was used to. Therefore, this friendship meant the world to me, and I still take friendship very serious.
When school started, I just knew she was still my friend. We spent the entire summer together, and I didn't know anyone else. However, when I started school, I was confronted by other teenagers about negative things I knew nothing about. It got so bad that the school bus driver, who was three grades ahead of me, would close me up in the doors before letting me off of the bus because of this "friend". Till this present day, I still do not know why. I remember going home crying and not understanding the hatred and mean behavior I received in lieu of this "friend". What did I do? What did I say? Why did she continuously wreak havoc in my life and all I did was play with her, compliment her, and praise her? I never understood it. The sad thing was, she still came over to play with me even after the fact.
This friend verbally bullied me on the bus numerous times until one day, another student, who was two years ahead of her, defended me. I was so elated and grateful for the protection. I remember thanking my protector over and over again, I am still grateful this day.
I am telling this story for a reason, hang with me. After my protection, my "friend's" mother visited my guardian at the time to discuss the events on the bus. Her mother was upset that an upper classman tried to attack her child on the bus. Did anyone not realize that my "friend" was an upper classman to me? Did anyone care? Did I not deserve to be protected, especially when I didn't do anything to her? I was so hurt and angry. I vowed that day that I would NEVER be bullied again. I also vowed that I would ALWAYS protect my loved ones at all costs.
I remember a few years later, I was the one who decided to antagonize her, "my friend". The rage, hurt and anger that grew within me from her constant years of attacks finally combusted. I stepped outside of my character and said things to her to hurt her feelings. You know the saying, "Hurt people Hurt people". I wanted her to feel my pain because I thought she was my real friend. I wanted her to feel what I felt. However, it was hard for me to sleep peacefully at night, because that wasn't my character. That was not who I was, or who I was destined to be. Has anyone ever experienced that?
This incident, as long ago as it occurred, affected me for life. It didn't affect me in a negative way, it affected me in a positive way. I've always been a protector of others. However, this incident kept me humble. I LOATHE the behavior of a bully in all forms. From adults, to children, to different cultures, etc., I LOATHE it. I have the tendency of fighting or speaking up for the victim because I had someone, non-related to me, protect me and stand up for me.
I am forever grateful. My past experience with my bully, has shaped my present perception of how I see and protect others. My present perception enables me to be grateful for my past, learning and growing from it, with forgiveness and understanding. My future perception wills me to share my story in hopes and prayers that it will change the outlook for others who have dealt with something in their past that others have told them to "get over".
You know, those people that say to you, "Get over it. That was so long ago. It's childish for you to hold on to that. You were kids". It's not that we have not gotten "over" it. It's that the situation deeply affected us, be it positive or negative, it affected us. I CHOOSE a positive affect. What's your choice?
To my bully "friend" at the time, THANK YOU for what you did. Your actions helped mold me. I learned to forgive and obtain a life lesson from it.
To the bus driver who joined in with the "bullying festivities", Thank you for teaching me to treat others the way I want to be treated without jumping on the "bandwagon".
To my protector: Thank YOU for standing up for me and going against the grain of "expected" teenage behavior.
You all changed my life forever. At that young age, you all made a mark in my past, that blessed my present, and will enable me to minister to others in my future.
Romans 8:28 (KJV) says, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose"
We have a job to do. We have a calling on our lives. It's time to look at our past and find a lesson in it. How can we mold our present and future to minister to others? How can we move forward and forgive our transgressors? How can we use our experiences to help deliver someone else from the same thing or something similar?
Let's continue to internally search our hearts and actions. Let's continue to constantly ask to be a willing vessel to bless others.
My bullies didn't break me. Nor did they change my outlook on friendship. They just enhanced my desire to be a true friend, desire to protect others, fight for the rights of others, and desire to help others overcome events in their pasts.
How has your oppressor blessed you?
Thanks for allowing me to share another story from Viva's Closet. I pray it blesses all of you that read it.
Always in HIS care...
I remember when I was a teenager, I met this one "friend" who I was so fond of. I met her the summer before school started, when I first moved to South Carolina from New York. I was so ecstatic that she wanted to be my friend. She was a few years ahead of me, smart, and pretty and I admired her. I was starting a new school, moving in with a new family in a new town, and was completely scared. I experienced culture shock, and an environment that was completely different than what I was used to. Therefore, this friendship meant the world to me, and I still take friendship very serious.
When school started, I just knew she was still my friend. We spent the entire summer together, and I didn't know anyone else. However, when I started school, I was confronted by other teenagers about negative things I knew nothing about. It got so bad that the school bus driver, who was three grades ahead of me, would close me up in the doors before letting me off of the bus because of this "friend". Till this present day, I still do not know why. I remember going home crying and not understanding the hatred and mean behavior I received in lieu of this "friend". What did I do? What did I say? Why did she continuously wreak havoc in my life and all I did was play with her, compliment her, and praise her? I never understood it. The sad thing was, she still came over to play with me even after the fact.
This friend verbally bullied me on the bus numerous times until one day, another student, who was two years ahead of her, defended me. I was so elated and grateful for the protection. I remember thanking my protector over and over again, I am still grateful this day.
I am telling this story for a reason, hang with me. After my protection, my "friend's" mother visited my guardian at the time to discuss the events on the bus. Her mother was upset that an upper classman tried to attack her child on the bus. Did anyone not realize that my "friend" was an upper classman to me? Did anyone care? Did I not deserve to be protected, especially when I didn't do anything to her? I was so hurt and angry. I vowed that day that I would NEVER be bullied again. I also vowed that I would ALWAYS protect my loved ones at all costs.
I remember a few years later, I was the one who decided to antagonize her, "my friend". The rage, hurt and anger that grew within me from her constant years of attacks finally combusted. I stepped outside of my character and said things to her to hurt her feelings. You know the saying, "Hurt people Hurt people". I wanted her to feel my pain because I thought she was my real friend. I wanted her to feel what I felt. However, it was hard for me to sleep peacefully at night, because that wasn't my character. That was not who I was, or who I was destined to be. Has anyone ever experienced that?
This incident, as long ago as it occurred, affected me for life. It didn't affect me in a negative way, it affected me in a positive way. I've always been a protector of others. However, this incident kept me humble. I LOATHE the behavior of a bully in all forms. From adults, to children, to different cultures, etc., I LOATHE it. I have the tendency of fighting or speaking up for the victim because I had someone, non-related to me, protect me and stand up for me.
I am forever grateful. My past experience with my bully, has shaped my present perception of how I see and protect others. My present perception enables me to be grateful for my past, learning and growing from it, with forgiveness and understanding. My future perception wills me to share my story in hopes and prayers that it will change the outlook for others who have dealt with something in their past that others have told them to "get over".
You know, those people that say to you, "Get over it. That was so long ago. It's childish for you to hold on to that. You were kids". It's not that we have not gotten "over" it. It's that the situation deeply affected us, be it positive or negative, it affected us. I CHOOSE a positive affect. What's your choice?
To my bully "friend" at the time, THANK YOU for what you did. Your actions helped mold me. I learned to forgive and obtain a life lesson from it.
To the bus driver who joined in with the "bullying festivities", Thank you for teaching me to treat others the way I want to be treated without jumping on the "bandwagon".
To my protector: Thank YOU for standing up for me and going against the grain of "expected" teenage behavior.
You all changed my life forever. At that young age, you all made a mark in my past, that blessed my present, and will enable me to minister to others in my future.
Romans 8:28 (KJV) says, "We know that all things work together for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to his purpose"
We have a job to do. We have a calling on our lives. It's time to look at our past and find a lesson in it. How can we mold our present and future to minister to others? How can we move forward and forgive our transgressors? How can we use our experiences to help deliver someone else from the same thing or something similar?
Let's continue to internally search our hearts and actions. Let's continue to constantly ask to be a willing vessel to bless others.
My bullies didn't break me. Nor did they change my outlook on friendship. They just enhanced my desire to be a true friend, desire to protect others, fight for the rights of others, and desire to help others overcome events in their pasts.
How has your oppressor blessed you?
Thanks for allowing me to share another story from Viva's Closet. I pray it blesses all of you that read it.
Always in HIS care...
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